An Entry Fueled by Hatred. Deal With It

"...pornos are to jacking off, what snowboarding is to skateboarding. It's so much work. you need a mountain, snow, gloves, a bunch of gay clothes, a lift ticket, a lift, boots, a snowboard and a shit ton of drinks afterward to help you forget how gay you are for doing it in the first place. Skateboarding, you just walk out the door and hop on your board and you're good." 

-Dave Carnie

Incase you couldn't tell. I've hated snowboarding so much for my entire life. I tried it once, maybe twice when I was ten. Never again. I would rather sit on a comfortable couch, drink hot chocolate and relax for the winter instead of whipping down a steep ass hill getting snow in my nose and windburn on my cheeks. At least with skateboarding you can get off your board and hang out with your friends. On a nice day, share a few laughs, a few drinks maybe and just skate around. Opposed to being strapped to a board and not being able to really socialize with your friends because your voice is muffled by your scarf/neckwarmer. The only drink that tastes good when you're snowboarding is hot chocolate. You can't enjoy a good slurpee or a cold water. I'm sure a few snowboarders are going to read this and hate me. But in reality I don't give one, even two shits if you do. Because you look like a fairy frolicking around in the snow. 

I had to get that off my chest. I'm sick of people talking about how "amped" they are to snowboard this winter. Nothing has pissed me off this much. Oh well.

In other news. We went and saw Religulous last night.

It was awesome. Which is what I had expected. For a while now I've been an agnostic but before that I was one of the many who had been brainwashed into believing there was a God or Jesus. But I don't like being tricked. Now, after reading countless books, articles. Seeing Religulous, and the movie that kickstarted it all for me, Zeitgeist. I just cannot agree with the idea of a "God". It all just seems like a big old fairy tale. It's up there with Green Eggs and Ham.

I stole this article from the Daily Show website. Read it and I guarantee you will think twice about "accepting Jesus into your heart".

"The god Horus was recorded into egyptian history 3,000 years before jesus, and yet they are nearly identical in recorded life experience. What are your thoughts on their similarities listed below? And if this confrontation upsets you, why? What is wrong with analyzing recorded history and asking legitimate questions? Thats what Bill Maher is doing, and i'm greatful for that. 

 

1. Both were conceived of a virgin.

2. Both were the "only begotten son" of a god (either Osiris or Yahweh)

3. Horus's mother was Meri, Jesus's mother was Mary.

4. Horus's foster father was called Jo-Seph, and Jesus's foster father was Joseph.

5. Both foster fathers were of royal descent.

6. Both were born in a cave (although sometimes Jesus is said to have been born in a stable).

7. Both had their coming announced to their mother by an angel.

8. Horus; birth was heralded by the star Sirius (the morning star). Jesus had his birth heralded by a star in the East (the sun rises in the East).

9. Ancient Egyptians celebrated the birth of Horus on December 21 (the Winter Solstice). Modern Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus on December 25.

10. Both births were announced by angels (this is not the same as number 7).

11. Both had shepherds witnessing the birth.

12. Horus was visited at birth by "three solar deities" and Jesus was visited by "three wise men".

13. After the birth of Horus, Herut tried to have Horus murdered. After the birth of Jesus, Herod tried to have Jesus murdered.

14. To hide from Herut, the god That tells Isis, "Come, thou goddess Isis, hide thyself with thy child." To hide from Herod, an angel tells Joseph to "arise and take the young child and his mother and flee into Egypt."

15. When Horus came of age, he had a special ritual where his eye was restored. When Jesus (and other Jews) come of age, they have a special ritual called a Bar Mitzvah.

16. Both Horus and Jesus were 12 at this coming-of-age ritual.

17. Neither have any official recorded life histories between the ages of 12 and 30.

18. Horus was baptized in the river Eridanus. Jesus was baptized in the river Jordan.

19. Both were baptized at age 30.

20. Horus was baptized by Anup the Baptizer. Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist.

21. Both Anup and John were later beheaded.

22. Horus was taken from the desert of Amenta up a high mountain to be tempted by his arch-rival Set. Jesus was taken from the desert in Palestine up a high mountain to be tempted by his arch-rival Satan.

23. Both Horus and Jesus successfully resist this temptation.

24. Both have 12 disciples.

25. Both walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, and restored sight to the blind.

26. Horus "stilled the sea by his power." Jesus commanded the sea to be still by saying, "Peace, be still."

27. Horus raised his dead father (Osiris) from the grave. Jesus raised Lazarus from the grave. (Note the similarity in names when you say them out loud. Further, Osiris was also known as Asar, which is El-Asar in Hebrew, which is El-Asarus in Latin.)

28. Osiris was raised in the town of Anu. Lazarus was raised in Bethanu (literally, "house of Anu".

29. Both gods delivered a Sermon on the Mount.

30. Both were crucified.

31. Both were crucified next to two thieves.

32. Both were buried in a tomb.

33. Horus was sent to Hell and resurrected in 3 days. Jesus was sent to Hell and came back "three days" later (although Friday night to Sunday morning is hardly three days).

34. Both had their resurrection announced by women.

35. Both are supposed to return for a 1000-year reign.

36. Horus is known as KRST, the anointed one. Jesus was known as the Christ (which means "anointed one".

37. Both Jesus and Horus have been called the good shepherd, the lamb of God, the bread of life, the son of man, the Word, the fisher, and the winnower.

38. Both are associated with the zodiac sign of Pisces (the fish).

39. Both are associated with the symbols of the fish, the beetle, the vine, and the shepherd's crook.

40. Horus was born in Anu ("the place of bread" and Jesus was born in Bethlehem ("the house of bread".

41. "The infant Horus was carried out of Egypt to escape the wrath of Typhon. The infant Jesus was carried into Egypt to escape the wrath of Herod. Concerning the infant Jesus, the New Testament states the following prophecy: 'Out of Egypt have I called my son.'" (See Point 13)

42. Both were transfigured on the mount.

43. The catacombs of Rome have pictures of the infant Horus being held by his mother, not unlike the modern-day images of "Madonna and Child."

44. Noted English author C. W. King says that both Isis and Mary are called "Immaculate".

45. Horus says: "Osiris, I am your son, come to glorify your soul, and to give you even more power." And Jesus says: "Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once."

46. Horus was identified with the Tau (cross)."

If you don't believe Jon Stewart is telling the truth, go to the library and read a book. Not the Bible. Since it's a big book of fairy tales. And if someone is going to preach to me about how I'm negative or something. Then fuck off and don't read this blog again. Because that's just how I am. 

PS. sorry Mom!